Imperato and Chapman: Wacky LP Candidates Separated At Birth?

Okay, let’s start with their physical appearance. No, I have not altered these photos in any way, with the exception of scaling down the Chapman photo to fit the space:

Hmmm …… well, they sure do look alike.

Both also seem to have a proclivity for shameless self-promotion (almost everything you’ll find on either of them was written by them – Chapman on blogs, and Imperato in self-published “press releases”). Both also seem to exaggerate their accomplishments tremendously, starting with claims about advising Fortune 500 companies.

It gets better (or worse, depending on how you view it). Chapman claims to have been tutored in economics by none other than billionaire investor Warren Buffett who, he claims, he can out-do in the stock market (yet he can’t seem to rise above driving trucks or changing oil for a living; and Buffett says he doesn’t know Chapman but he’d definitely remember if he knew somebody who could out-do him in the stock market …. you do the math). Imperato claims to actually be a multi-millionaire, though there is no evidence that it’s true except his claims in the endless self-published (literally, he owns the website which puts them out) press releases. However, according to the SEC filings for his corporation, Imperiali, Inc., the company had an accumulated deficit of $11,172,386.28 on November 30, 2006, operated on deficit for the quarter (and it appears most of that money went to him), and almost all of the company’s worth appears to be in unsold stock. [Click here to see the SEC documents.]

Imperato, in a self-published press release, boggles the mind with his claim (or is it a claim?) to own (or not to own?) a $5 billion undersea telecommunications cable, and another claim that he somehow suffered (or did he suffer?) a $3 trillion loss when Osama bin Laden caused 9/11, not as a purely terrorist act against America, but so he could short the stock market to his own financial advantage.

Wow. Just, wow. I’ve never heard that 9/11 conspiracy theory before. But, speaking of stocks, I need to buy stock in Goody’s Headache Powders if I’m going to keep following the lunatic fringe candidates.

Chapman states he never got even one donation, and gives that as his reason for dropping out of the presidential race (and while that is a legitimate reason, it appears it wasn’t the real reason given that some very serious anonymous accusations were leveled against him on several blogs less than 24 hours before he dropped out). Imperato doesn’t appear to have received any donations either, although he loans money to his own campaign (which looks more than a little like funds on paper only; for example, according to the FEC, he spent $125,000 in January – money his campaign didn’t have – then loaned his campaign $250,000 in March). Click here to see the FEC documents.

They both claim to rub shoulders with big names in entertainment, too. Chapman once talked on and on, in his presidential blog, about getting to meet the late great guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughn’s older brother (okay, not at all a big deal to the average person, but that’s as close as Chapman will ever get to a real star; and it was funny because he tried to play it off as if big names in entertainment will literally wait in line to meet him, since he was running for president, by finally writing, “Okay, I met Stevie Ray Vaughn’s older brother. Next.” LOL). Imperato put out a press release a couple of weeks ago, stating that he was spotted at the Tribeca Film Festival (apparently Imperato was spotted by Imperato, since he’s the one sending out the press releases; maybe there are a lot of mirrors there?)

Chapman claims to have been important in the passage of new regulations for truck drivers, although there is absolutely no substantiation for that whatsoever, beyond his own statement that he was important; in fact, he was fired for falsifying his employment records while driving truck, and on appeal everyone agreed he was fired ….. but he now claims he was not fired, but quit over the hours of driving issue. Imperato suggests that he’s buying Chrysler, and sends out a bizarre press release which, when read very carefully, actually says …. nothing. Apparently, everyone is completely ignoring him, but he drops their names anyway; and he can’t convince JP Morgan Chase to even give him the Chrysler offering documents (yet still refers to himself as “Chrysler bidder, Daniel Imperato”). It is also quite amusing that he claims i1connect (which is the online “press release” company owned by Imperato, and is in fact Imperato) contacted him, so I guess he talks to himself. A lot.

Chapman participated in the LP debate in Nevada, and proclaimed that he had won despite the fact that he was categorized as a “whack job”, and listed dead last (even behind “none of the above”) in a now-infamous blog post by an LP member who attended that debate. Imperato has participated in some libertarian debates, always asserts that he won, and even inserted himself into the Republican debates, by “weighing in” via – you got it – yet another self-published press release, in which he called for a debate between himself, Rudy Guiliani, and Ron Paul.

Chapman claimed to be a minister (although he never attended seminary and has never had a congregation, he once lied to a reporter during a “death fast” and said he had attended seminary school, then tried to claim the reporter was lying when she confirmed his lie), and he also claims the Hindus view him as the reincarnation of Gandhi (but he wants to start his own armed militia and kill people by hanging them from light posts and burning them for electricity – very un-Gandhi like, if you ask me). Imperato claims to be a “Papal Knight with honors from the Vatican”, and a “Knight of the Orden Bonaria”, the latter of which appears nowhere on Google except in descriptions of Imperato. Of course, you can order religious qualifications online with any kind of weird title you want, even if it exists in the real world and you haven’t earned it. Since no one has ever heard of that title, maybe that’s what he did.

Chapman once, years ago, challenged me to a wrestling match when I suggested that he prove he’s a real exorcist by performing an exorcism on Glenn Danzig. When I unexpectedly called his bluff and accepted, he backed out and said he was just kidding (though I suspect he was afraid of getting his ass kicked by a girl). Imperato was the special guest, according to one of his self-published press releases, at a WWE wrestling event called “Mayhem In Melbourne”, featuring Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka, Koko B. Ware, King Kong Bundy and Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

Chapman blamed the Colombine massacre on Darwinian Marxism and US adherence to the Communist Manifesto. Imperato claims credit for other universities arranging memorials after the Virginia Tech massacre.

I could go on, but you get the idea that we can’t really rule out the idea of a separation at birth. The question now becomes …. is it too late for an abortion?

UPDATE:  Many thanks to Nigel Watt for the following correction:  “The Orden Bonaria actually does exist: Their very fancy website.”