After reading the arguments against and for self-described “Millionaire Republican“, infomercial scamdicapping pseudo-libertarian presidential candidate Wayne Allyn Root, I have done the only thing I can do when faced with evidence of that level and type.
I acted quickly and decisively in appointing Root as the new King of Frickintardistan, a highly revered position previously held by last year’s self-described “front-running LP presidential candidate” Gene Chapman, and thus replacing our current King, the Duct Tape Bandit.
King of Frickintardistan is a purely ceremonial position which I, in my position as the Shotgun of Warm Humanitarianism, bestow upon worthy candidates at will. As such, it should not in any way interfere with Root’s ongoing quest to torment, reinvent, and misrepresent the Libertarian Party.
