ABC News wrote a story about a first grader who was labeled a sexual harasser. Here is an exerpt:
According to the state’s Department of Education, 166 elementary students were suspended in Maryland last year for sexual harassment, including three preschoolers, 16 kindergartners and 22 first-graders. In Virginia, 255 elementary students were suspended for offensive sexual touching last year as well.
Two years ago in Texas, a four-year-old was punished for sexual harassment after a teacher’s aide accused the pre-schooler of pressing his face into her breasts during a hug.
Interesting. When working at a preschool in college I had a 5 year-old pinch my butt and make comments like hey sexy. He did this until I said something to his mom. The 5-yr old had a teenage brother who was apparently daring the little brother to do stuff like this. It took one conversation with the mom to stop this behavior. Was it sexual harrassment? Yes. Did I consider filing charges? No. I went to the mom first. Much more effective.
In Texas there have been children below 2nd grade sent to alternative schools and assigned to sentivie training for trying to kiss another student or making a sexually inapprioprate comment. These kids were first offenders. It is better to attempt to work it out with parents first.
a Four year old being punished for shoving his head in a woman’s chest? How.. pathetic. I would think someone who worked with young children would know that many children become very attached to their mothers through breast feeding and find extreme comfort resting their heads on a woman’s chest. It isn’t sexual. >< ugh.
These kids shouldn’t be punished, they should have someone give them therapy to explain how their behavior is wrong and their PARENTS should be the one to be investigated. More then most of the time the parents are where the kids are learning this from.
Fionax,
As a for a 4 yr old shoving his head into a woman’s chest I have had similar things occur when working with children that age. I prefer to redirect the child. You are right on about the reason’s a 4 yr old would do that.
DH
My five year old son was just sent home on his fifth day of kindergarten for sexual harassment. I am so upset, not at him, but at this world that we live in. I agree that his behavior was not appropriate, he should keep his hands to himself, but he was NOT being sexual! He is a good, sweet little boy. Little boys are just as innocent as little girls, and yet we (as a society) are ready to feed them to the wolves at the first glimpse of inappropriateness. I have taught my children to keep their hands to themselves, but they’re just little kids! I am so heartbroken that are system is so flawed.
My question now is, what can I do? What should I do?
OMG are you serious??
from kindergarten,that is absolutely absurd !!
Hes 5 yrs old…dont these dumbasses realize they would ruin a childs intimate relationships as he grows up by doing that, it puts his mind in the state that it must be dirty therefore causing him to avoid contact with anyone really as far as getting close.also cause him to be withdrawn because of it,i mean hes5, not12 or a teenager then maybe you could see how they’d say that.
when they did that it really is enexcusable for them because he doesnt even know what the hell the word SEX means,all he knows is he got in trouble for it they cant tell me that every time he hears the word he won’t think OMG im gonna get in trouble,so theres no way to explain to him at 5 so he can distinguish it as bad or good.
Society has gone to far with that stuff, i haven’t ever in my life said this to another person for any reason but i’d have a lawyer down at the school tomorrow morning when they open the doors.
if he sees the word sex on a form when he’s 16,he’ll run likes he’’s been set onfire,and im not saying that to be funny. hes 5 what the hells wrong with these people?
what you can do,is what i said,hell if i wouldn’t,
i hadn’t read your entire message till i replied the second i saw 5 and sexual harrasment,but i just now read it all,so my god get a lawyer,these people are over board on that,hell no.
If you cant afford one call legal aid in your statethey’ll help.
you know how kids are in school,well it could be 3 yrs from now and one day his friends will meet him in the hallway at school and say hahahaa,kids can be cruel to one another
b/c theyre kids but imagine if that happened and from then on the rest of his life, no doubt people will taunt him and judge his character on something he was wrongfully accused of.
Anytime there is a 0-tolerance policy someone always gets caught in the middle. However there are kindergarten children that do knowingly repeat things they have seen or heard from adults. While this is not the case with your son the school has polices to deal with the extreme situations. Talk to the teacher/school let them know what you considered acceptable. Now is the time to establish a good working relationship with your the school.
A 4-year-old was suspended from preschool after being wrongly accused of inappropriate sexual behavior by a preschool teacher’s aide!
According to the child’s father, Damarcus Blackwell, his 4-year-old son was lining-up to get on the bus after attending preschool at La Vega Primary School in Waco, Texas, when he hugged the aide. The aide accused the child of rubbing his face in her chest prompting the prinicipal, Elicia Krumnow to send a letter to the Blackwells saying their child exhibited “inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment.”
Don’t roll your eyes yet, it gets worse…
Blackwell insisted his son was wrongly accused, and in an on-camera interview at CNN claimed the aide is the one whose mental health should be evaluated for misinterpreting a hug. The father demanded the school remove the charge from his child’s file.
La Vega Primary responded by downgrading the accusation from “sexual harrassment” to “inappropriate physical contact” — refusing to issue an apology or expunge the incident from the child’s record.
Blackwell is determined to fight the district. He said no 4-year-old should have something like this placed in their file — and then have to carry such an accusation with them the rest of their lives.
Can you imagine being the parent of this child — and the outrage you would feel?
This is a MAJOR reason not to institutionalize little kids in government preschools. Our cultural paranoia about sexual harassment and molestation (yes, I said it) means our infants and tots in government regulated daycare centers and preschools will NEVER get the physical contact they need.
Little kids need lots of hugs and loving, physical human contact. Preschool age children need lap time — not circle time!
Help Mr. Blackwell stand up to the idiocy of the school district. Help him to restore his child’s reputation. Write or email Elicia Krumnow , the principal of La
Last time I drove past La Vega schools they were in Bell Mead, when did they move to Waco?
Perhaps you should contact the ACLU, and see if they would be interested in getting involved. http://aclu.org
All brain dead racially and sexually obsesses society!
How nice and self-centered of the mother here, with the assaulting 5 year old, to NOT CONSIDER, FOR ONE SECOND what the results of her son’s actions were, with the INNOCENT and APPROPRIATELY-BEHAVED child he assaulted/harassed. I’m sorry, but I have a kindergarten daughter who has been REPEATEDLY assaulted by a classmate, including sexually assaulted, and is now not sleeping in her own bed, having nightmares every night, and has been HORRIBLY affected both in and OUT of school. Her exemplary grades, both in academics, and school behavior, have taken a sudden down-turn, and this little hellion of a boy is getting a few days off from school, here and there, for his atrocious, threatening behavior. Nothing like a vacation day at home to positively reinforce his inappropriate behavior. MY opinion, is that these boys are LEARNING this behavior SOMEWHERE…so mom, I would URGE you to take a look around, closely, and figure out WHERE your son learned this behavior. Chances are, he’s been a victim himself, and you are FAILING him by not taking this situation/his actions seriously. OR you are letting him watch TV programming, or play video games that are WAY TOO mature for his age group. This has been proven again and again in cases of sexually inappropriate behavior in young children. It’s always one or the other. They aren’t just “born” that way, regardless of what everyone would LIKE to think.
Also…ANY TIME a student harms another student in school, regardless of age or grade, it is unacceptable, and the parents NEED to be informed, and appropriate action NEEDS to be taken. VICTIMS rights TRUMP perpetrator’s rights, regardless of whether it’s kindergarten, or your workplace. Come on, Ladies, really! These kids may be young, but to the victim of inappropriate touching and harm, the trauma is real, and life-size. How would YOU like some guy at your job to touch YOU? Would you want to be around him anymore? Well, frankly, my daughter doesn’t want to be around the kid who touched her, and I would like to see him EXPELLED. He’s had PLENTY of opportunity to behave appropriately, and has re-assaulted/harassed my daughter repeatedly. Additionally, his parents don’t seem to give a rat’s you know-what, about his behavior…I have no idea who they are, but they haven’t sent a note home with any apology, etc… If that were MY son, you BEST BELIEVE he’d be getting in huge trouble with me, and an apology to that little girl and her family would be in SHORT ORDER. I would also be taking him to a counselor/therapist to see if he’s been sexually abused himself. What is wrong with our society is that we DEMAND SO LITTLE of our boys, in regards to social decency. Later in life, when these boys grow-up and end-up incarcerated for date rape, we wonder how on earth they did not understand what “inability to consent” or “absence of consent” means. And that would be because they assume the whole world believes they can ‘just be boys’ and do whatever the hell they want, with no recourse. Good for your son’s school, informing you and opening up a door for communication and action on your part. You’re lucky this little girl’s parents don’t sue the daylights out of you, or call Child Welfare to come investigate your home situation. Like I said, you might consider looking under your OWN carpet at home… sometimes horrible things are going on right in front of us, and if we don’t know the ’signs’ – like sexually inappropriate behavior for a k-gartener – we don’t notice something’s really not right. SO I hope my answer helps you with your question of what you can and should do. The child your son touched has a right to an education free from harm, and that includes his touching. It doesn’t matter whether he intended harm or not. It matters that this other kid was harmed by it. How would YOU like to be touched somewhere you didn’t want to be touched? Great example for you: an adult male your age and at least your size, who is mentally disabled, manhandles you….hmmmm… I guess you wouldn’t feel violated at all, or want something done, huh? You’d just laugh it off, and not feel the least bit grossed out? Or would you expect someone to intervene and help this man understand he cannot do such things, and to have something put in place to ensure he does not do it again….say a behavioral plan? I think the school didn’t do anything out of hand with your son. But sending him home isn’t going to help. How about a behavioral plan for him, mom? Because no matter how much going home for the day upset him, I GUARANTEE you, it is NOWHERE NEAR how upset this other child is because of his actions. WHY is it so hard for mothers of sons to just admit their sons messed-up and deal with it appropriately? Why is there always a “boys will be boys” pervasive attitude in our society? It’s VERY damaging. Throwing your son to the wolves would have been expelling him on the spot. Give the school some credit, as it’s their LEGAL DUTY to provide that other student with a learning environment that is not harmful to her well being. If seeing your son is harmful for her, and scares her at this time, then all bets are off. Just deal with the consequences of your child’s actions without being so reactive. If kids really are kids, you wouldn’t be so sensitive about the whole thing. There are consequences for inappropriate behavior, and there is good reason for those consequences. Our boys in this country are truly in horrible trouble anymore. There is no more decency expected of them, at any age. It’s disgraceful. We owe it to our sons to expect them to act decently, and to pay the consequences if they do not. And frankly, sending your son home early to think about his actions is NOT a horrible consequence. I highly doubt HE’LL be up at night with nightmares about being sent home from school early. How about you spend some time thinking about what his actions probably have resulted in for the girl he stepped over the line with? NO WOMAN, NO GIRL wants to be touched in a way that makes her feel “icky” inside. It’s shaming and traumatizing, at any age. Your total lack of sympathy or insight into the victim’s experience is shocking, frankly. It almost elicited an “Oh, waaaahhhh” response from me, instead of a thought-out reply. I do hope you re-think this whole incident, and begin to see more clearly what you can and should do. Starting with an apology to the parents of this child, and having your son apologize might be a great start….
The kindergarten boy is obviously not going to be expelled, so the only sensible thing you can do is either transfer your daughter to another school, or homeschool her. Why you haven’t already done that is a mystery, given how severely you say she is being affected by the abuse at her present school. Frankly, leaving a five-year-old every day in an environment like that, where you know she is being threatened and sexually assaulted, is abusive. Your daughter could therefore actually be reacting more to your failure to protect her, than she is to what the boy is doing.
Given the above, I really don’t think you have a whole lot of room to attack another mother. You’re not going to be named “Mother of the Year” yourself anytime soon, that’s for sure.
Cookin Mama,
I am terribly sorry to hear of what has happened with your daughter. I think it is safe to say that we are all (as parents) going to want to defend our children to the full extent. And we should do that – our children need use to be a voice for them.
Having said that, why have you continued to send your child to a school envoronment where she is being “assaulted” by a “Perpetrator”?
And why does it seems appropriate to you to use the term “perpetrator” when referring to a Kindergarten child? Our society has done our children such an injustice by allowing adults to label young children (who perhaps don’t even know what it even means to have sex…they just know they heard a song somewhere that says “I kissed a girl and I liked it”) as sexual perpetrators.
Is there a chance that the child who has been acting inappropriately towards your daughter (who by the way I do feel badly for b/c no one deserves to be picked on) is not on “vacation” when they are suspended from school for their behavior? Is it possible by sending them home we are sending them to a place where they themselves are being abused or neglected or picked on?
How can you be so sure that the “perpetrater” isn’t themself a victim…
I understand your anger…I am wondering if you yourself were a victim of abuse. It seems that frequesntly throughout your comment you were placing very adult feelings and responses on your young daughter. It seems as if you perhaps were using her situation as a vessel for your anger over some situation you felt wronged in.
Hey, I was wondering did kids especially boys are attracted to the breast bcoz one of my friends was really closed to this kids age of 5. What this chap will do when he sits together with her is, he likes to hug my friends and his hand was like trying to touch the girl’s breast…it is a bit scary for me though to listen to her story but this is true, is it because the boy is so addicted to women breast like he feels that makes him feel comfortable?