Vintage ENM: Belford High School and Belford University
April 26, 2008 by ElfNinosMom
Life Experience High School Diploma
Now, this is interesting. An online “high school” calling itself “Belford High School” lets you get your high school diploma in just a few minutes’ time. You can do this one of two ways:
1. By taking a test in language arts (26 questions), math (20 questions), science (15 questions), and social studies (10 questions)
2. By telling them your life experience
You don’t have to attend any classes, you just have to fill in a form and pay them $249 (basic fee - it can cost more if you ask for additional stuff). You can even backdate your graduation to years ago, have yourself graduate with honors ….. all for a large additional fee, of course.
They’ll even give you fake transcripts, and print your fake GPA on your fake diploma. You automatically get a fake 3.0, but for an additional fee you can go all the way up to a fake 4.0. Obviously, I’m going for the fake 4.0!
I took their tests, which require 70% in each subject to pass. It was pretty funny, I have to admit, because some of the questions made no logical sense. There were only 71 questions total, which is supposed to prove that you know everything you would have learned in four years of high school.
I wish I could have gotten through high school by answering less than 20 really easy questions per year.
What’s especially interesting is that, if you miss a question, they will tell you the right answers - not only that, but they pop up in a separate window so you can copy the correct answers the second time around. That’s pretty doggone convenient, I have to admit.
When I didn’t buy a diploma from them (obviously, since I have a real high school diploma and was just doing it for laughs), they started inundating my inbox, trying to get money out of me. All that did was make me determined to make complete fools out of them.
As stated, you can also tell them your life experience, and get your high school diploma that way. I logged back in under yet another pseudonym, pretended to be an 18-year-old high school dropout slacker, and wrote:
“I help my mom around the house, and sometimes go grocery shopping for her. I am very good at playing Warcraft online also.”
Sure enough, it immediately asked me all the information needed to process my “diploma” - but, no one had even looked at what I had written as my alleged qualifications!
Now, does anyone here think getting your mom groceries and playing WarCrack qualifies you as a high school graduate? Well, Belford High School probably does - I should find out in about 24 hours! They say they are going to review my qualifications - who wants to bet that no one even looks at it, and they offer me a diploma based on my stated skills as a slacker?
What’s really scary is that they also have a fake university, where they sell fake doctorates (and fake bachelor’s degrees and fake master’s degrees) also conveniently for a low, low price - and, as always, they offer free shipping (ROFLMAO). Once I finish messing with their fake high school diploma program, I’ll play with their fake college degrees a bit. That should be very interesting, considering that they offer fake doctorates in everything from law to medicine (no, I’m not kidding) and everything in between.
Update on slacker application for high school diploma:
I went out for a late dinner and, when I returned, I had this email in my inbox. Gosh, this guy sure does work some interesting hours:
I, as Assistant Superintendent of Belford High School, would like to inform you that in order to make your information presentable, I have started working on your resume.
The Experience Evaluation Committee will then evaluate your eligibility for the desired diploma program. On the approval of your credentials, you will be contacted directly by the Experience Evaluation Committee within 24 hours.
I wish you all the success in your future endeavors
Regards,
John Hudson,
Assistant Superintendent,
Belford High School
I’ll let you know when I hear more from the people who are apparently going to evaluate an applicant’s ability to mooch off his mother and play Warcraft.
Second update on slacker application:
Apparently, playing Warcrack and getting your mom’s groceries is equivalent to a high school education after all - ROFLMAO! Here’s their latest response:
Congratulations [name redacted]!
We are pleased to announce that on the basis of your resume submitted by the Assistant Superintendent, the 10-member Evaluation Committee at Belford High School has finally approved you for your high school diploma.
You can now pay the amount from the link provided below and get your high school diploma within 7 days from today. Once you make the payment, you will also be able to access the Alumni Area of Belford High School and get exclusive privileges and discounts.
If you are unable to pay the complete amount at once, you can now place your order for an initial deposit of $99 only. The remaining balance can be paid within 30 days in small and easy installments through our Flexible Payment Option Plan. Click on the link below to read more details and continue with your order.
Please click here to view your order details and to make payment.
Remember, the evaluation result is only valid for 7 days from today.
We congratulate you on being approved as a Belford High School Student, and wish you all the success in your future endeavors.
Regards,
Experience Evaluation Committee,
Belford High School
I’m not sure why it’s only good for 7 days. After all, it’s not as if the applicant is going to lose the knowledge necessary to lay around the house and play WarCrack in that period of time.
That’s always the sign of a scam, incidentally - the sense of urgency is palpable. Truth is, I could go back three years from now, having not paid them a cent, and still get their diploma. Obviously, all they want is the money. If you have cold hard FRNs, you can get a diploma from them, and it doesn’t matter if you are one of the biggest frickin’ ‘tards in the history of the universe.
To be honest, I was hoping they wouldn’t fall for what I sent them. Sure, it’s funny as hell, but it’s also extremely worrisome considering their doctorate program, which offers fake medical doctorates. Now, that’s scary and, unlike the high school part of their program, it could actually prove deadly if some idiot sets up a medical office using a fake degree (hey, it happens more than you’d think). I’ll address Belford University in a separate entry over the next few days.
Wow. a high school less credible than the public one I attended.
LOL, Dee!
I think I’ll take a shot at becoming a medical doctor through them. After all, “ElfNinosMom, MD” sounds pretty snazzy. I’ll let you know how it works out.
Ok, can’t be any worse than the Dr not a resident I had a large teaching hospital. I was there for an asthma attack & rather out of it. He hadn’t heard of Advair and wanted to change my meds to something he had heard of.
Sheesh, that doctor sounds scary. Even I know what Advair is, and I mostly blog and watch television, LOL.
I think I’d be a fake doctor like the kid in “Catch Me If You Can”, and just delegate everything to the real doctors, LOL.
If you haven’t seen that movie, definitely rent it. It’s a true story, too.
Oh, yes it is a good movie. We own it. Actually, we find it is cheaper to just buy movies instead of going to see one.
I do the same thing, Dee. I have a huge selection of DVDs; I buy them previously viewed, either at the Blockbuster, or the pawn shop where I can get five DVDs for $10. Every once in a while, if I can’t find it previously viewed, I’ll hit the Best Buy.
I prefer to watch movies at home, where I can pause if it I want to get something to drink or eat, or if I want to use the restroom. I like that a lot better than the theater.
I think I’ll start a movie thread. I love to watch movies, so maybe we can all recommend movies to one another.
Actually, my posts on good family movies is one of my all time top posts.
[What’s especially interesting is that, if you miss a question, they will tell you the right answers - not only that, but they pop up in a separate window so you can copy the correct answers the second time around]
Actually, my history teacher in high school did this. He gave us the complete multiple choice test the day before. The answers were displayed on an overhead projector (and yes I am that old). We all had color wheels. The questions were tape recorded. A disembodied voice would read the question. Then we would turn our color wheel to the right answer. You know A was red, B was blue and so on. Then the disembodied voice would say, “Ready, respond.” And, we all turned out color wheels out so that everyone in class could see whether or not we were complete morons. We took the exact test 2-3 times during the “test study day.” The next day we took the test, the identical test… there was no difference, they were the same. Even the questions were in the same order so you didn’t really even have to read them again. All you had to do was, “A, B, B, D, E, E, C…”
Did you know that as a homeschool mom I can write a transcript and print a diploma for my daughter? Well, I can. I am kind of black and white, so I actually grade assignments and keep track of grades, but no one really checks on me. What I thought I would do is let my daughter attend the local technical college during her senior year under our state’s Post Secondary Education Options program and see how she does.
Actually, I could make a whole lesson plan out of shopping if I wanted to including Family and Consumer Science (menu planning, nutrition), Consumer Math (budgeting)… but I don’t. Much to my daughter’s chagrin we actually do math.
Oh, and medical school can’t be that hard. I was a nurse for almost 20-years. Some of the interns I worked with weren’t the sharpest pencils in the box.
Sadly, I prefer to watch movies at home where I can turn on the subtitles. My hearing isn’t that great anymore ~
I have given students a study sheet of all the test questions. Reversed the order of the questions and still 80& failed. Why? They memorized the answers A, B, C, etc not the words or questions. Of course, that was also the class that decided to punish me by refusing to do their homework. Their reasoning was that if they all failed I would get fired.
You can legally call yourself “Dr” without paying $200 to a diploma mill. You simply pay $30 to the Universal Life Church for their honorary Doctor of Divinity Degree.
Laugh if you will, but it has held up in US Court. The ULC as a “religious” organization has the right to hand out these honorary degrees. Gotta love freedom of religion.
So…I can use…
Dr. Jason Gatties
or
Rev. Jason Gatties D.D.
I use neither…but I could…
Jeez, you mean that not only do I have to be at least functionally illiterate but I also have to cough up $250? High school is hard!
Good thing the Illuminati doesn’t have an educational requirement, well except that one advanced degree for neutering field mice, but they’re willing to substitute life experience.
Now, where did I put my pinking shears?